How to Play "Spam Story"
(In the tradition of “Where’s Porno?”)
- Select a piece of spam that somehow managed to get through your various filters and traps. (Penis Enlargement spam always works.)
If there are pictures, paste them into Photoshop and do your best to make them look somehow sad. The Healing Brush is good for getting rid of those creases around the mouth that indicate a smile. Gaussian Blur out the cheerfulness. Make liberal use of sepia tones and faded edges. (If you don’t have the image-editing chops for this step, just use MS Paint to draw mustaches and evil eyebrows or something.)- Use the subject of the message (e.g. “If only you’d known earlier…”) in a new e-mail, which is to be as serious as possible. For bonus points, reuse other important words and phrases from the original (“longer or fuller”, “just weeks”, etc).