This is Story, an entry originally posted on November 9, 2002 in the blog nebulose.net. In chronological order, before this was New and Improved. After this comes Concerning a lack of entries. If you're lost, I recommend the about page.

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Story

Silence is a recurring theme (1, 2) around here. This is not without significance.

I have never been adept at small talk. It all seems so pointless, doesn't it?-- Here is what happened today, during this unexceptional day in my unexceptional life. Here are my petty complaints and my petty joys (a segment on the radio, a new food, a passage in a story; things to share.) For a few minutes you are drawn in, my mundane details are somehow transmogrified by your presence into something actually worth sharing. You weave your own part in with mine; details build upwards like the rising action of some intricate story, some story that you and I are writing together, are living out together.

Here is the problem: The story has no climax. Or rather, the dénouement is inevitably silence, a sudden villain against whom I am powerless.

Here is what I want to say: You are amazing. You are the kind of girl for whom people like me - exactly like me - stay awake into the early morning, thinking and worrying and writing and wondering and, most of all, hoping. The kind for whom small-talk stories are extraneous, because there are a thousand novels to be written just for the way I feel with your hand in my hand and your head on my shoulder.

Like any reasonable tragedy, this story is foreshadowed. And of course, what I have been getting at all along is that I can bring myself to say nothing. What a copout of an ending that would be, to lash out at the silence by jumping from discussion of cookies to deepest affections. Better to keep my mouth shut, and silently take notes for my next chapter.

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Comments

A-men.

Posted by Akex at November 11, 2002 1:19 AM :: Link

Further reading would be Alex’s entry On Being Mute, see the link above.

Posted by Aa at November 11, 2002 8:00 AM :: Link

Wow. You said exactly what’s in my head in words that could never come out of my mouth, or fingers, hehe. A-men is right. And Alex, that’s how I’ve been my whole life. :P The observer part anyway, hehe.

Posted by Evan at November 12, 2002 3:27 PM :: Link

We should start a Shy Guy Club or something.

Posted by Aa at November 12, 2002 5:26 PM :: Link

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