Alternate Stories I Could Tell When People Ask About My Recently-Broken Wrist
I was racing in yesterday’s Kentucky Derby and my ridiculous beast of a horse, foaming at the mouth from an overdose of insane horse steroids, bucked and threw me headlong into a popcorn vender’s cart. The tasty but naturally nutritious snack caught me and prevented my neck from breaking, but my left forearm got snagged on the neck of the butter pump, simultaneously breaking my wrist and spraying hot salted butter into my eyes.
I was saving the world from a Dastardly Death Beam put in geosynchronous orbit by criminal masterminds; evil henchmen intercepted me and strapped me to a steel table where a red-hot laser sought to bisect me by advancing slowly toward my manhood. In order to correctly aim my gadget watch to save myself and the unsuspecting denizens of the biosphere, I had to break my own wrist. That’s the part they have to edit out for you in the movies, folks.
I took my private jet to Amsterdam but foolishly forgot to wear my Ultra Disguise™ sunglasses. Instantly, hundreds of buxom Nordic vixens thronged the street to gaze upon my Adonis-like visage. When I rebuked them—sorry ladies, this one’s taken—they combined, in Voltronic fashion, into some kind of unstoppable sex beast. (I escaped with minor injuries, but judging by the evening news, the nation of Holland is in a bad way.)
I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and running really fast backwards and fell on an orange safety cone.
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Comments
hehe very hilarious
Note to self: Nordic vixen not best intimate role playing idea…
teehee
Posted by Becca at May 4, 2003 7:51 PM :: LinkTo quote the famous Mitch…
“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.”
Applies for Transformer-like Sex Goddess activity.
Posted by Ryuko at May 4, 2003 9:18 PM :: LinkNot just fell - flew. Off the cone, that. Like, woosh FLYING THROUGH THE AIR WITH THE GREATEST OF EAS-*thudlaughow*
Posted by Ryuko at May 6, 2003 10:23 AM :: LinkPost a comment
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L-M-F-A-O.
Posted by Bax at May 4, 2003 10:12 AM :: Link